Yesterday I had the best conversation with a group of women who were visiting from DC. We were probably five minutes into meeting when one of the ladies was commenting on hard it is being 25, single, and not engaged. They were chatting about how their good friends are obsessed with getting a ring on it, announcing it on Facebook, and filling Pintrest boards with wedding plans. Without thinking I immediately blurted out ‘DON’T get engaged, you’re gonna love your life!’
Look, I will preface this blog post by saying if you’re 25 and already married or 25 and engaged I think that is great. To each there own and sometimes marriage at 25 is the right move for you but for most women its not. We’re just too scared to say NO and worried about all the what if’s if we don’t say yes.
Here is what no one tells women when you’re 25:
You change so much between the ages of 28-30: If I had gotten married at 27 I would have been divorced at 28. Between the ages of 28-30 life is literally your oyster. You will figure out exactly what kind of career you want. The older you get the more you begin to recognize what you don’t want in a man….you don’t see that at 25 because you haven’t dated enough of them. You’ll learn to say NO. You’ll believe in yourself and you’ll learn your vulnerabilities. Its a chance for you to figure out your own issues before you take on someone else’s.
Figure out your Career and Finances in your 20’s: When you’re 25 you probably haven’t landed your dream job. You’re probably just finishing a grad program or you took the first job that said yes and you’re still figuring out if you love it. When you get married suddenly your career and financial decisions are no longer your own. You owe it yourself to focus on your career, set up a 401k, and find a financial advisor. Money/Career freedom equals landing a better life partner.
Loneliness = Self-Confidence: I’ve stayed with a guy because I didn’t want to be alone, not a good reason. If you can learn to be comfortable with yourself by yourself you are one heck of a catch. Women get nervous about being alone…the crazy cat lady stereotype is a myth. We don’t like to be alone because our minds start racing off the things in life we’re doing wrong:( Learn to quiet that voice in your head that tells you you’re missing out or not good enough and HUGE confidence will come.
Date Yourself: Your job this weekend is plan a Friday night solo. Yup, you’re going to a bar, restaurant, movie, mani/pedi solo and you can’t use your phone. You have sit at the bar and have a drink and talk with a stranger. You don’t have to sleep with them just engage with someone. Scary isn’t it? Challenge yourself cause you will LOVE the way you feel after.
Men get better with age cause they’ve been burned too: I get asked out by a better quality guy at 31 than I ever did at 25, 27, or 29. Men are getting their shit together too and more men than ever want a true 50/50 partner. Or they just got divorced and now they know what they don’t want;)
So you’re 25 and not engaged…you are my hero! I love you and its about to get really good. In the meantime hit LIKE on your girlfriends engagement announcement and Pin some great honeymoon spot she should consider, and then scream this female mantra: “The sex, the men, and the money are a lot better when you’re 30 and single.”
Email me anything anytime: firstname.lastname@example.org