Since leaving my radio gig in DC I’ve been humbled in a lot of ways. This year of transition has taught me more about myself good and bad than the last seven years combined. A lot of bad actually:(
For one, I realized how sensitive I was at work. Looking back I can see how easily offended and withdrawn I would become when incidents happened, not to mention one more negative trait of mine, I hate being wrong:( Recently I signed up for an emotional sobriety course, which is all about dissecting/taking you through a 12 step program into your emotions and shortcomings. Shortcomings are things like being selfish, resentful, self-seeking, withdrawn, etc.
Everyone had to talk about which character defects they suffered from, mine stood out like a sore thumb – easily offended. We were asked to give an example and here is mine…
I remembered an incident that happened a couple of years ago when I sent show prep to a co-worker of mine, which I did on a daily basis. After sending it I received a reply by my co-worker CC’ing our boss and GM on the email calling me out that the prep looked ‘soft and not sufficient….” I was fuming. I wanted to write back, “go fu$k yourself, I do a ton of prep and most of it you never use,’ but instead I got busy, did more prep, and wrote back to everyone that I was sorry it was soft and hoped the added prep would help.
The next day came and the prep gate was never addressed but secretly I fumed for 3 days. Filled with anger and feeling like I wasn’t appreciated at the job – in my mind it was BS.
But you know what never honestly occurred to me until I took this course was that I could have been WRONG! Yikes, maybe my prep was lazy that day. It also occurred to me that 90% of the stuff I was offended and hurt by meant nothing to anyone else, so why should I give it some much merit? Now I hear my friends talk about not getting along with so and so at work or someone reviewed their segment negatively and I can’t help but hear myself in them. It’s amazing how fragile our egos are. So I’ve started saying to my friends and myself what if you removed yourself from the situation? Just for a minute pretend the person being criticized isn’t you. How big of an issue is it? What if you practiced not being offended?
I’ve decided for one week I’m not going to take anything personally. No matter what someone says, writes, or feels about me I’m going to say ‘So What!.’ I wasted a lot of time being offended and overly sensitive to things that didn’t matter. Being offended can be a good thing…it’s a way that progress is made but if you’re like me you and overthink things and seem to focus on the negative things people say about you it might be worth trying a different approach at work and with your family. I’m going to do so many things differently at my next gig and not being offended is one of them.
As I learned this week in my emotional sobriety course…’You are worthy of judgment.’ It was shocking for me to hear that, but yes I am.
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