Guys. Last Thursday, we met two nudists living in the DMV who had the CRAZIEST experience at a nudist club in Maryland. Adrian and Eddie said they found themselves in the middle of the Get Out storyline when they paid a visit to Pine Tree Associates in Annapolis, MD!
First of all, we need to address the fact that there’s a nudist club in freakin’ Annapolis?? ANNAPOLIS. Like, how has this been flying under the radar for so long?? And more importantly, how has this not been brought to my attention??? In all honesty, I’d love to just retire and embrace a nudist lifestyle. But I can’t see Schmano being down to casually sunbathe his schlong next to a stranger’s wrinkly ballsack. :/
On the other hand, our mans Eddie says he has ALWAYS had an interest in becoming a nudist. Starting at 8 years old, he’d ask his aunt to take him to nude beaches (which she never did), and it eventually got to the point where he was imagining groups of nude friends! (AKA, his nudist lifestyle was DESTINY, ya’ll.) He didn’t step onto his first nude venue until a few years later, but from the moment he first experienced the sun in “every crevice,” his life was changed.
Eddie and his wife, Adrian, are members of the American Association of Nude Recreation, and say they often visit the clubs selected by the organization as verified nude sites. Based on a listing in this national directory, the couple paid a visit to Pine Tree Associates in Annapolis, MD. The visit started pleasantly, but quickly took turns for the worst.
Adrian had her period (which was something else I was fascinated to talk about) and she asked the front desk rep if it would be an issue if she wore her bikini bottoms during the club tour. Apparently this is standard practice in the nudist community, and the front desk rep didn’t have an issue with it, but when the tour guide came out (who just happened to be a retired, White, male Baltimore police officer), he had a different opinion. He told the couple it wasn’t acceptable and that they’d have to leave and come back another day.
But Adrian, being a truly patient queen, took care of mother nature and complied with the weird request to be completely nude even though she was BLEEDING OUT OF HER HOO-HA. Again, a queen.
It gets worse. Once they were on the tour, the guide kept making uncomfortable references to diversity, verbatim mentioning that “the club needs more Black people” and asking the couple to “bring their friends.” Umm… what?
And when Adrian and Eddie finally ran into another person of color, they said he was oddly hesitant to speak to them. Adrian said it reminded her of the iconic scene in Get Out. You know which one I’m talking about.
The couple say it was unlike anything they’ve experienced in the community thus far, which is typically very inclusive and welcoming.
Listen, I’m all about letting your nethers be free and proud, but this sh*t at Pine Tree Associates is weird, okay? When I finally convince Dan to loosen up and let it hang, I know the one place we won’t be flaunting these bods.
Have more questions about the nudist lifestyle? We ask Adrian and Eddie all about it on the pod, and they really reveal it all. (Lol, get it?) Head over and listen!!